Madden Week 2 Report 06

Well ladies its that time, time for the Madden Report. I must first give credit to this weeks sponsor http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Flip-Toilet-Seat-R-z.html

This company specializes in Toilet Pottie‘s. They have told Madden that a BOX of Toilet Pottie’s are being shipped out to the owners of Boston Beer Works, and Bartow Ford for taking a public dump and starting the season out 0-2.

On the flip side of things, NY Knights are leading the Crimson Division with an undefeated record of 2-0.

The Superdestroyers are leading the Titanium Division with an undefeated record of 2-0.

If either one of these teams can win two more victories, they will have the record for an undefeated team with 4 wins. Bartow Ford holds the record at 3-0 (2005), and it was the Superdestroyers who ended the winning streak for Bartow Ford. (2005).

This week the Superdestroyers face SUKMYDITKA, which Madden will give the surprise team of the year (to date, still a lot of football to be played) the WIN. Then next week the Superdestroyers face the SONS OF HELL. Madden is also going to Vegas and laying the cash down that the Superdestroyers will win their 4th game in a row. Then in week 5 Superdestroyers will beat gang green. Then in week 6, the Superdestroyers winning record will end as Cutthroat Pirates make shark bait out of the OLD MAN.

The NY Knights are looking to repeat as the SUPERBOWL Champs, but they must take their first loss of the season as the Cutthroat Pirates dock at New York this Sunday. The Pirates will pillage that city and force the N.Y. Knights to relocate and become the New Jersey Knights. This will happen without the Pirates Mate T.O.

As for the rest of the League: Will Work For Points must be dying from heat stroke, because he has not been working for any points lately. Detroit L. S., what can I say about this F*@K tough team. They lost their first game, but have since beat the Pirates in a close game. The L.S. are getting ready to give the Crimson Division a run for their money. This week the Detroit L.S. face Bartow Ford and the owner of the Detroit L.S. had this to say:

Detroit: Around the world, the word "Detroit" means cars We are the headquarters of Ford and General Motors. "Motor City," tells the story of a hundred years of people building cars, and cars building communities.

Madden: How does this relate to Bartow Ford?

Detroit: This guy thinks he knows about cars?????????? He would not know a car if it drove up his ass. I know about cars, I am from the Motor City. You can’t know about cars if you are a Person Of Less Knowledge (POLK). Where in the sam hell is Bartow anyway.

Madden: I think it is a little town between Tampa and Orlando.

Detroit: Ok, Tampa , and Orlando with Mickey Mouse I know. I bet this Bartow Ford is nothing more than a used car dealership. In fact I bet this car lot is like the old 1980 Movie USED CARS.

Madden: Laughing, that was a good movie, but I think Bartow Ford is one of the highest rated dealerships in Florida, and come Sunday I think it might be him driving F-350’s up your ass.

Detroit: "Why don't you try stickin' jou head up jour ass -- see if it fits Mr. Madden

Madden: Come on Mr. Detroit L.S. no need to get mad. I was just asking what if?

Detroit: "I neva fucked anybody over in my life, who didn't have it comin' to 'im, you got that? All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don't break 'em for no one, jou understand?"

Madden: I understand, I understand, so what is your word for this Sunday?

Detroit: My word is simple, Detroit L.S. will kick the living shit out of Bartow Ford on Sunday. "I'm the owner of the Detroit L.S.! You fuck wit me, you fuckin' wit da best!"

To finish up on the rest of the league, SUKMYDITKA, SONS OF HELL and gang green are all 1-1. The surprise is SOL, they had a very bad draft, but have won a game and played a close 2nd game.

Boston Beer Works, what are we going to do with you? How can this owner be 0-2? Madden and you need to get drunk and work on the X's and O’s.


Well ladies it is time to hand out the Madden Awards for Week Two:

Team of the Week:
Superdestroyers 124 Points

Player of the Week:
Peyton Manning with 34 points

Game of the Week:
Boston Beer Works 88 vs. SUKMYDITKA 94

Def of the Week:
Ravens with 30 points

Most Improved Team:
Superdestroyers from last season.

The Shit Team:
Cutthroat Pirates 71 points (lowest points scored)

Remember ladies, IT'S IN THE GAME