Madden Week 1 Report.

Well ladies the weekly Madden Report is back. I must first give credit to this weeks sponsor. http://www.sonici.com This company specializes in hearing aids. They have told Madden that a BOX of Hearing Aids are being shipped out to the owner of the Superdestroyers. This will help him with next seasons draft.

Well ladies the weekly Madden Report is back. I must first give credit to this weeks sponsor. http://www.sonici.com This company specializes in hearing aids. They have told Madden that a Box of Hearing Aids are being shipped out to the owner of the Superdestroyers. This will help him with next seasons draft.

I had to repeat it twice for Superdestroyers. It’s a bitch to get old Superdestroyers. I must also thank Bartow Ford for the use of his house for the draft.

Now for another sore issue about the draft. It seems that a lot of owners have expressed a desire to make the owner of Gang green drink warm piss at the next draft. This could only be for the fact that he brought piss warm beer to the draft. Let this be a lesson learned to all owners; If you lose the Toilet Bowl, you must bring a COLD CASE of BEER.

Year two of the Playmakers Fantasy Football League is here and do we have some changes. 1st we lose the Terror Squad and gain Will Work For Points. Second, Daddy Mo Bucs changes his team name to Sons of Hell, and we get the abbreviation SOH???????? Oh yeah its SOL (Shit Out of Luck) Like when you picked Curtis Martin you became SOL, and that must be how you picked your team abbreviation.

Other small changes from last season, Detroit Latin Stars are now known as Detroit LS and the have a better logo. The NY Knights also updated their logo. SUKMYDITKA also change his logo from Ditka with a cigar to Ditka with a women.

It seems that everyone is running scared of NY Knights. The talk of the draft was how could the Knights not repeat with the likes of Shaun Alexander and Larry Johnson. Well then with the 10/11 pick the SMART owner of the Knights pick up Randy Moss and Chris Chambers. Now the Knights looked as if they could repeat. NOT!!!!

Now let me, John Madden, start the Playmakers Fantasy Footbal Madden Report Week 1

Now with week one over lets see how each team did and how the draft picks went.

SOL 82
SUKMYDITKA 80

What a close game, I was trying to figure out how 82 points were scored from SOL with Curtis Martin, Ron Dayne, and TJ Duckett. However, SONS of HELL was able to pullout a win against last years Super Bowl Runner Up. This game goes down as game of the week. I do have a bad feeling that SOL might be bringing the COLD Beer to the draft next season. Don’t get pissed at me, the Poll question, which was asked by Boston Beer Works had SOL getting the most votes as the team to be in the Toilet Bowl and having to bring the beer next season. For those of you who don’t know it, SUKMYDITKA actually called the Commissioner and asked for a roster change. He pulled Steve Smith out of his line up. Plus SUKMYDITKA wrote a small WARM BUD WHY? Article. Could this be the year that SUKMYDITKA becomes active. Lets hope so, it is nice to see you on here.

There is a sad story that must be told, if SUKMYDITKA would have checked his roster/players, he would have seen that Deion Branch was not going to play for New England. He could have started Troy Williamson who was on his bench and got 7 points. He only need 3 points to win. ITS A DARN SHAME.

SUKMYDITKA, in case you don't know Branch got traded this week to the Seahawks. Thanks to Superdestroyers owner for the heads up on this story.

Cutthroat Pirates 121
GangGreen 61

Ass kicking is all I can say, it seems that the owner of the Pirates is again starting the season off like LAST season, and Gang Green is starting his season off like LAST season as well. I would hate to be 2-12, and yes that is your record since last season.

Will Work For Points 93
Bartow Ford 83

Well it seems that begging for points just might be the new thing to try. Will Work For Points begged and he received. The new team in the League is starting out strong, but can it continue this week as he plays the champs, the NY Knights. As for Bartow Ford, he should rebound from this loss, but it might not be this week as Madden thinks Superdestroyers could pull out his second victory.

Superdestroyers 97
Boston Beer Works 82

What can be said about uhhhhh,
Superdestroyers cant hear you. Well it looks as if this owner does not need to be able to hear in order to win. This owner says he now understands fantasy football and is going to the Super Bowl. Well with a one game win, it is hard to tell, but the OLD MAN could be a force to be reckoned with in the Titanium Division

I interviewed Boston Beer Works owner about his lost and he only had this to say,
Boston:“ Well John, (Madden) it seems that I had a lingering effect from the WARM BEER that I drank on draft day.”
Boston: “I mean what asshole servers beer that is warm to his friends?”
Madden: I must agree with you, warm beer can mess anybody up, but it really effects a Beer expert like yourself.
Boston: “John you are so right, a WARM BEER is a stomach’s worst nightmare, it can cause Digestive disorders that can turn your stomach — and your life — upside down. From constipation and diarrhea to GERD and IBS.
Madden: This game should be contested due to you medical problems over drinking WARM BUD.
Boston: “No, John, I am a grown man, and my team will face its first loss of the season. However, I assure you that come Sunday, my team and I will be drinking only the COLDEST IRISH BEER that money can buy.”
Madden: Will this change the outcome of your game.
Boston: “I garn-damn tee it.”

Detriot LS 82
NY Knights 99

The champs start this season off as he ended last season with a win. I must point out since only I can do, because I am JOHN MADDEN, HALL of FAMER the Champs won this week without the help of their two star running backs Alexander and Johnson. This does not spell good news for the other owners in the league. What would his points have been if those two star studded backs had showed up? The real question is does anyone care? I mean Detroit LS almost had the Knights number, but came up short. The Knights have got 12 more games to play before the post season, and anything can happen. As for Detroit, you have a team that can beat anyone, but which team will show up on Sunday, is your only concern. I hate to say it but after this week, Detroit LS will be 0-2. I will also go out on a limb and say that the Knights will win his second game this week. Sorry WWFP, but I just don’t think you can beat the Champs.

Well ladies it is time to hand out the Madden Awards for Week One:

Team of the Week: Cutthroat Pirates 121 points
Player of the Week: (Tie) D. McNabb and Kurt Warner both with 29 points
Game of the Week: SOL 82 vs. SUKMYDITKA 80
Def of the Week: (Tie) Bears and Ravens both with 28 points
Most Improved Team: Superdestroyers from last season.
The Shit Team: Gang Green 61 points (lowest points scored)

Remember ladies, IT'S IN THE GAME